This is one of those books that will leave you thinking “What did I just read?” And you will be thinking about it long after you turn the last page.
About the Book
In today’s world, young men grapple with concepts like “toxic masculinity” that often lead to self-doubt and aimlessness. Such ideologies can push them toward negative influences online or unproductive behaviors. How Boys Learn by Jeff Kirchick presents a different perspective, delving into the nuanced journeys boys navigate. These stories offer insight into friendships, relationships, sexuality, and the quest to become better individuals.
Kirchick’s collection captures diverse experiences: from a conflicted teenage wrestler in rural Pennsylvania to a postwar society designed to curb “bad ideas,” and a doctor’s encounters with family and an unusual patient. Love is the overarching theme, whether it’s the characters’ connections with others or their pursuit of self-love.
Originally penned in 2010 under the guidance of esteemed author Edmund White at Princeton University, these tales have been refined for a wider audience. Kirchick’s aim is to impart lessons on struggle, humanity, and discovering love in unexpected corners. How Boys Learn invites readers to explore the complexities of growing up and finding love amid life’s challenges.
My Thoughts
How Boys Learn is an intriguing concept. It’s a collection of fictional short stories that read like creative nonfiction. I had to remind myself several times that they were fictional, especially during some of the ones with the worst triggers – which I will list below. All of them seemed to be present for a reason, not just for shock value as you sometimes find, but the author seemed to need to show us a great deal of disturbing things in his quest to show us how boys learn.
Gender identity is such a big discussion these days. Not that it wasn’t an issue before, it just wasn’t something people talked about. Now we can explore our feelings and proclaim that we don’t feel truthful when people call us by one name or another. I always enjoy learning about unique experiences, and fiction is often my preferred method, making a book like “How Boys Learn,” a fantastic book. I don’t think I’ve ever come across something quite like it before. Such an in depth look into the mind of a wide-range of different boys.
My favorite of the stories was “This is the Story That I Wrote for This Week.” Possibly it’s because it explores the life of a writer, and it reminds me of stories I’ve written myself as an exploration of my mind. Probably it will remind many writers of something they’ve written. The first several stories each left me with the feeling that the next story couldn’t possibly get worse – emotionally not writing style or anything, but somehow each next one did. That is the mark of a talented writer, I think. He can emotionally destroy you just a bit more each time. You’re convinced he can’t possibly, and then he turns the knife a little more. He deals with so many difficult topics. I am grateful to the author and Love Books Tours for providing me a print copy of this wonderful book and including me on this tour.
Question of the Day
What “boys” in your life would make you want to know more about “How Boys Learn?”
Who’s It For?
This book is for everyone. It is designed for a wide audience to show a snapshot of humanity, part of the human experience. Anyone interested in enriching their understanding of what it’s like to be a young boy in mostly Western society will be intrigued by this book. Also, those exploring the different meanings and ideas of gender might find this collection of stories interesting. But you should check the content warnings first.
Content Warnings: child loss, depression, SI, mental illness, weight loss, incest, child abuse (SA, implied), sexual identity, bullying, racism, religious ideologies, body paralysis/amputation, drug abuse, addiction, and probably much more.
About the Author
Jeff Kirchick is Head of Sales at Able AI, a Series A FinTech Startup focused on automation in the world of commercial lending. He was previously VP of Sales at Y-Combinator backed Next Caller, which he led to a successful exit in 2021.
What sets him apart has been his ability to build authentic relationships with his customers. He has led a successful sales career for over a decade and spends much of his free time mentoring younger sales professionals who are interested in sales as a career, particularly those who come from underrepresented backgrounds in tech sales.
A 2010 graduate of Princeton University, he is an avid writer who hopes to become a screenwriter someday. In his free time, he enjoys Boston sports (primarily the Boston Bruins), running and exercise, collegiate wrestling, meditation, cooking, listening to podcasts, and learning. Ultimately, what brings him joy is being able to touch the lives of others in some meaningful way. He currently is living in Boston.
Amazon US: https://a.co/d/02qRgLx
Amazon UK: https://amzn.eu/d/1aIPhnH
Bookshop US: https://bookshop.org/a/25511/9798891320963
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/202938792-how-boys-learn
Author Website: https://jeffkirchick.com/
As a Bookshop.org (US) Affiliate, I may earn on qualifying purchases.
Published by Amorina Carlton. Award-winning American author, Amorina Carlton, is currently working on her first novel. You can find more about her published work and works in progress on the home page. She also serves as the PR/Marketing Lead for Ravens and Roses Publishing, and reviews books, mostly by other indie authors, here and on Bookstagram.